That was the line I kept saying last week when I was given a Ramadhan test that really tested my patience.
My mum & me had planned to iftar at Pastamania since I had voucher, after running some errands. But we only plan and Allah decides – the errand turned out to be longer than usual and buka time was nearly reaching. So we decided to stop for a while and continue after buka and headed to the restaurant. Of course, by that time it was already buka time and since it was a weekend and we came late, there were no seats. Ok fine. tolong sabar mardhiah. Then we went to another restaurant only to find out that the que was really long. Ok fine. It was already 5-10 mins after buka time and we still had not ate anything! I was getting cranky. I hate when I get cranky but I just do not like to buka late and not seated for buka. tolong sabar mardhiah. I like to be calm for break fast, even if I’m in the bus it’s okay as long as I’m not rushing. So mum and me decided to go to the nearest food location – the Kopitiam.
Now, there is really nothing wrong with eating at the Kopitiam and I am not some “atas” diva but the last time I went to this outlet, there was no halal food available. Plus, I had my hopes up to eat at Pastamania and now I got Kopitiam? tolong sabar mardhiah. dun action! some people do not even have proper food to eat for iftar! be grateful! this is ur test! So we just planned to buy drinks first in order to break fast. So when we stepped in, we were glad to discover that there was an Ayam Penyet Ria branch! Alhamdulillah! Can eat! No Pastamania never mine, at least can eat proper food. Getting to sabar already, but then.. we sat beside a Chinese lady dining alone who just loves to talk. Wah kesabaranku tahap maksima. My sabar went back down the drain. I wanted to say “Auntie can u please just shaddappp?”. So I just kept quiet since Rasulullah s.a.w says that when ure angry, its better to not say anything until u cool down. tolong sabar mardhiah. this is ur test. she may be lonely and has no one to talk to and she just wants to let it out. tolong sabar mardhiah. tolong. sabar. mardhiah.
After that we went for maghrib prayers at the mosque and I cooled down. Alhamdulillah all my anger subsided and my sabar came back. during terawih I could not help but break into tears especially since the imam read so merdu MasyaAllah and I just could not stop crying thinking of how weak I can be. how such a trivial thing, a small test for me, could cause me to be so ungrateful, angry and super annoyed even for just a few minutes.
I asked for strength and You gave me challenges,
I asked for patience and You gave me challenges testing my patience level..
Guide me always in Your Love, Ameen.
Thank You for blessing me with these beautiful sisters in which we gather strength from each other, insyaAllah.