it’s in the genes babeh

why men don't listen & why women can't read mapsActually I was searching for “Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus” by John Gray (even ustaz hasrizal from saifulislam.com recommends every human being on this earth to read it) but it turns out that my aunt had this book in her bookshelf all along so i’ve postponed the above intention.

and my my my what a book. at some points i keep giggling to myself because of how true the facts are.

so whoever said that men and women are the same are in reality denying themselves. men and women are equal yes, but we are different due to the fact that men and women’s brains are developed in totally different ways.

So why can’t women read maps?

Reading maps and understanding where you are relies on spatial ability – the ability to picture in one’s mind the shape of things, their dimensions, coordinates, proportions, movement and geography. It also involves the ability to imagine an object being rotated in space, navigating around an obstacle course, and seeing things from a three-dimensional perspective. Around 90 percent of women have limited spatial ability (me included). Most men can always point north, even if they have no idea where they are because spatial ability allows a man to rotate a map in his mind and know in which direction to go.

Which is why, now that i realise, usually mountain rangers are men – due to their excellent ability in navigation and map reading. 

Now now now guys, don’t start being all smug and high-fiving ur inner egos. Both men and women have pre-set strengths and weaknesses and I feel that this is amazing, how we are all at the mercy of Allah s.w.t who has the ultimate ability to create men and women and all kinds of being.

So why don’t men listen?

This is due to the fact that men’s brains are specialized, compartmentalized, which is why men can only do one thing at a time and can’t multi-task. An excerpt from the book states, “When a man stops his car to read a street directory, what’s the first thing he does to the radio? He turns it down! Most wome can’t understand why this happens. She can read while listening and talking, so why can’t he? When he’s reading the newspaper or watching TV, why can’t he hear what I’ve just told him? The answer is that a man’s brain is configured for one thing at a time because of fewer connecting fibres between the left and right hemispheres and a more compartmenalized brain. Take a brain scan of his head when he’s reading, and you’ll find that he’s virtually deaf.”

the last sentence made me chuckle. haha!  

i had the oportunity to experiment this with my brother while he was watching The Bulletproof Monk on tv. (it helps that i have a brother and sister – halfway on reading this book i now realise why and how i communicate with them differently.)

*movie playing, bro watching intently*

me & sis: *talk talk talk*

a few seconds later…

bro: shhh! orang nak tgk movie kan

me & sis: *continues to talk but softly this time*

bro: eh can’t u two stop talking? bising seh

me & sis: *chuckles*

u see u seee! i used to be annoyed at my brother when i talk to him while he’s doing something else, “im talking to u, dengar tak?” and he goes, “ahh dengar dengar” with his face still on the comp/tv. T_T

skrg baru chek paham beb. hehe.

Oh, and women talk a lot because women NEED and love to talk while men talk silently to themselves. When a women talks at the end of the day, her objective is to discharge the problems, not to find conclusions or solutions. The point of a woman’s talk is to talk.

Since male brains are highly compartmentalized and have the ability to separate and store information, at the end of a day full of problems, a man’s brain can file them all away. The female brain does not store information in this way – the problems just keep going around and around in her head. So that’s why they need to let them all out and talk about it. 

But in relationships, guys need to learn to talk too because “when a man is silent, it’s easy for a woman to start feeling unloved.”

Okay lah before i start quoting and talking about the whole book, i shall stop here and end this with a final quote from the book – “We are who we are because of hormones. We are all the result of our chemistry.”

Read it okay? The world will be a more beautiful place if we all can understand each other better. :D

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11 responses to “it’s in the genes babeh

  1. I have John gray’s book too. But mine is on diet and exercise solution since im such a health freak…haha..

    But his books are an eye opener really:)

  2. simplymardy

    i haven’t read any of his books yet actually. but i will eventually since im such a bookworm..

    i remember ur coconut cookies u baked and let us stong team taste it. that was simply deeeelicious! (what does this have to do with john gray? u mentioned diet… food & sweet treats included hehe)

  3. mdhilwan

    Oh! And men has this ability that women have difficulty accepting ^_^

    Most men (im saying most not all ya) can stare at a particular space…. And he can think of NOTHING for an average of 3 mins. I’ve tried it on myself and took my own timing. I manage to clock 4min 15sec of thinking virtually NOTHING! If you put a camera in our head, it will only show a screensaver.

    And most women (key word: most) can’t seem to believe this because women just can’t stop thinking. They think ALL the time! They even think while their sleeping!

    And when a women ask a men… “What are you thinking about?”
    And men simply say, “Hmmm.. Nothing..” Which is the truth.
    Women can’t believe that and will say..”You are thinking of something”
    Men: “I wasn’t thinking of anything… Really!”
    Women: “Why don’t you tell me what you are thinking about!”
    Men: “Because I wasn’t thinking of anything!”
    Women: “Tell me! Tell me! Tell meee!!!”
    Men: “Alrite… alrite!… I was just thinking of how pretty u are.. bla bla bla..” Have to make something up..

    The end ^_^

    Soo.. Moral of the story is.. Guys, dont stare into blank space and go into screensaver mode when the ladies are around. And ladies, when a guy say he wasn’t thinking of anything, it really means he wasn’t thinking of anything.

    Hehe! Peace! ^_^

  4. simplymardy

    hahaha @ ur last dialogue! hilarious! =P

    i tried that before – thinking nothing – & i can’t do it. so what i do is i make myself think of being in my OWN BEACH just sitting there & meditating/doing nothing/ listening to the waves & reflecting. that’s the closest i can come to thinking of NOTHING because obviously my female brain isn’t made to compartmentalise things. haha.

  5. mdhilwan

    ^_^ told u so that a women can’t stop thinking

  6. Thinking of the beach IS thinking of something. Haha! Our minds are so complicated…

  7. mdhilwan

    and women always wants a guy that could understand her… BUT! Its a very big challenge…

    women: “why don’t u understand me?”
    men: “i am trying to!… Please tell me!”
    women: … “no i wont tell u! ur suppose to find out urself”
    men: …

  8. simplymardy

    @huda: yah la. really man… to think of absolutely nothing is like virtually impossible. T_T altho sometimes i wish i had that talent tho. hehe.

    @wan: well of course! coz u guys just don’t get it sometimes!

    ok la ok la. we all must try and understand each other la k :D

    & men hate to be wrong (this is proved by hilwan’s “told u so…”)

    hehe! peace! ^_^

  9. simplymardy

    oh ya one more thing – men are direct whereas women are indirect. hence the “u don’t understand me” problem crops up.

    which is why i think to understand the opposite gender is a SKILL!

    very valuable one.. everyone must learn this skill

  10. mizneez

    mardy just passed me an important skill about learning men…*chuckles*

  11. suaveathir

    ruqayyah lol…
    im going to miss you. doa for us all in sg ok =)

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